Spud shed attempts to secede from W.A

“It’s time for a shed to become a country”

By
Colin Ebsworth
on
June 12, 2017
Category:
Opinion
Tags:
W.A’s own “Spud King” Tony Galati has officially announced plans to secede all ‘Spud Shed’ locations from Western Australia forming his own “Potato Province”.

“The timing feels right, if Trump can do it with America why can’t I have my own country?” Mr Galati commented on the move.

The new territory plans to have its own anthem, national holiday on National Potato Day and even a new flag consisting of a Kmart blue singlet XL and whatever stains it’s acquired over the years.

“We still plan on having good relations with the government of W.A,” he added, insisting that there are great economic advantages to staying close to W.A, mainly through trade with it’s now largely international customer base and his own workforce of TITO workers (Trolley In, Trolley Out).

potato market

Emperor Galati insists that the new “Unites Spud States” will pose no threat to Australia but that it’s time for the wants and needs of his people to be addressed. Specifically those whose wants and needs are free bags of potatoes and shopping at the only place in the country where Ben and Jerry’s goes for less than $11 a tub.

On the plans the new W.A leader Mark McGowen commented that they won’t be challenging him:

“We’ve learned our lesson in fighting Galati the first time, the only thing less beatable than his prices are his ambitions.”

The coronation will take place at Spud Shed Innaloo this Sunday at 5pm PST (Potato Standard Time). It will feature live AC/DC karaoke, “pin the eyebrows on the Spud King” and “Find the used needle from the carpark in the potato stack.”

Colin Ebsworth

Colin is a Perth based comedian who started performing standup eight years ago and has been making people laugh for three. He's been described as one of the most prolific young comics in the state and a "real sweetheart" by over 80% of mother's polled. When he's not writing jokes he's wondering what Kanye is doing and praying he finds some measure of happiness in his endeavours.