Perthetic Reviews

Reviews are a great way to preview a new place but no one likes a whinger.

Tessa Dempster
September 11, 2017
Reviews are helpful ways for the public to get an idea about a new place or product before they try it. Nowadays, everybody considers themselves a food critic with the only experience required being “I eat food”. Unfortunately, the rise in the keyboard warrior phenomenon has led to some rather shameful reviewing habits from people that I’d rather see shut the f. up. Having worked in the hospitality industry for several years, I have had first-hand knowledge of how the review system works.

Things to remember before pressing publish: have you accurately described your experience in a fair and honest way? Put it this way, in an office job would you post on facebook how shit you thought your boss ran the meeting, how he was late coming in and how you personally believe he could have used more inspiring visual aids - stock photos, yuck. Am I right? No, you probably wouldn’t as you are personally criticising someone for their skills and execution. The same rules apply to the food and service industry. And yes, most businesses do read reviews as they are a great way to give feedback to staff on what is or isn’t working  - so don’t make the mistake of thinking your opinions go unnoticed. A perfect example of a very public review fail was done by My Kitchen Rules ex-contestants Chloe and Kelly. After the scathing review was published, the duo were quite publically shamed as the West Perth eatery in question hit back, pointing out more than a few false truths in the article.

Here are some other online reviewers who should have re-thought before they posted.

The guy who was feeling out of place at Petition Kitchen, CBD

The Heritage building looks and feels expensive, even if I didn’t know that the general rule of thumb is to err on the side of smart clothing, the outside facade screams “no thongs allowed”. I’m not quite sure how this diner managed to miss the memo.


The undecided diner at Tuck Shop Cafe, Northbridge

This Perth cafe-goer loved the food, service and coffee but found fault in the popularity and patrons. Hmmm not sure how they could really improve on this.


The quiet observer at Moore and Moore, Fremantle

Beanhunter is a coffee-snob review site. If you love coffee, chances are you’ll be scouring this app to find a quality espresso. It seems like this reviewer may be barking up the wrong tree with this post.


The review addict at Fortysevenkirwanstreet, Floreat

Reviewing can become addictive and those with the affliction can begin to leave comments on any place serving food or drinks - watch out IGA, keyboard warriors are coming for you! This review falls into the “not helpful at all” category.


Cover image: Pig Lebowski

Tessa Dempster

Hi, I'm Tessa. I've lived all over Western Australia getting to sample food, wine, local events and more. I'm merciless when it comes to a long black, love a glass or three of red wine, and can often be found showing off my eccentric but enthusiastic moves whenever there is music playing (shopping centres included). I now document my finds and antics for Perth Underground. Hit me up if you want me to come discover your business! I'd love to pop by for a chat.