Military Mishap - Navy accidentally tows Rottnest Ferry out to sea

Military Mishap - Navy accidentally tows Rottnest Ferry out to sea thinking it was boatful of refugees.

By
Colin Ebsworth
on
June 27, 2017
Category:
Opinion
Tags:

“We just saw many tired and sunburnt foreigners, we assumed they must have been refugees. We done messed up,” Captain Hayden said aboard HMS 'Aussiepridesoutherncrossgallipolineverforgetorillsmashyou'.

The incident started Saturday afternoon around 6pm when a routine ferry departure from W.A’s famous Rottnest Island turned south. Cpt. Hayden along with captains from two other Australian vessels (HMS Australia Policy and HMS White) made the call that the vessel must be illegal in Australian waters because it had too many people desperate to get home.

“Look, there were at least 300 people aboard who clearly were from other countries and I made a gut call. I always trust my gut, like I did then and like I did about what to eat for breakfast today,” Lt Gilliam said, finishing his eggs and wiping his face with pages of The U.N’s Human Rights laws.

“We’re doing everything we can to ensure it doesn’t happen again, the last thing we want are innocent people being needlessly detained,” the Captain added.

The story has made waves across the country after a similar incident of a Navy towing boats full of human refugees into international waters so they wouldn’t have to deal with them happened in *ARTICLE NOT FOUND*.

But local residents of the island aren’t reassured: “I just don’t feel safe in my own home knowing at any moment I could be detained”, said Patty Anne of the local bakery/petrol station/hospital.

“Isn’t there some kind of group of people we could create to protect us from the Australian Navy?” she added, lighting an oily rag at the end of a molotov before pulling up her face scarf.

Colin Ebsworth

Colin is a Perth based comedian who started performing standup eight years ago and has been making people laugh for three. He's been described as one of the most prolific young comics in the state and a "real sweetheart" by over 80% of mother's polled. When he's not writing jokes he's wondering what Kanye is doing and praying he finds some measure of happiness in his endeavours.